Judith Orloff, Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA and bestselling author, explains that empaths are “super-responders our sensory experience of relationship is the equivalent of feeling objects with fifty fingers instead of five.” I don't know why, I don't know how but it does. One bottle of vodka flushes down for entire week all the fragility and emptiness I refer about. I need to wipe out that weird feeling of fragility and occasional solitude and I'll be perfect.Īnyway, the biggest problem now in Kashmir is that there is not alcohol to get. It is good to have some, but never at the expense of real things, such as whatever you create around yourself - business, art, scientific formula or whatever. Now I think she is half crazy, her work goes to hell and I think so well her personal life. She knew from the very beginning I have no feeling for her yet she decided to fall in love. Makes you throw away everything in your life just for a crappy illusion that exists solely in your head. And as I said, I am sure as hell I don't wan't to feel love (ever again).
But it's still not perfect, I still feel somewhat weaker and maybe sometimes empty. I just read The Witcher: Sword of Destiny and author describes some drama between woman and two men. I never feel harmed, I never feel unsure about someone's love, I never miss, I never feel refused or jealous. I never have a need for intimacy with woman (besides sex. I feel lonely, yes I do but for natural reasons - last 3 days I spent alone in my room working and bit of boring so it's normal to have bad mood. In fact I just wanted to write how good I am. I think people just don't know really what to say. Nothing you said was stupid here, nor uninteresting. and we can't control these emotions we feel sometimes, well, it's tough to control them.
But you're human, you have feelings and you also feel numbed sometimes. I'm not sure if there's anyone who hasn't gone through a similar thing. It's a phase that most people go through in life. So no, don't think you're weird whatsoever. So I got up one day and started doing these things.
#I feel so lonely emptiness how to
I moped around long enough, so bad that I got sick of myself, it's weird, I don't even know how to explain it. Seriously, that was what I did for several months after I hit depression, after attempting suicide and after feeling like there is no point in life anymore and after I felt nothing. I distracted myself with things I like doing and especially things that make me feel good about myself, like going to the gym, going out with friends I enjoy spending time with and just watching funny funny videos on YouTube. All I know is that I just get by, by living life. I have felt like this before but I don't really have a proper solution or anything like that. I think that a lot of people here might feel the same way at some point in their lives and maybe don't really know what to do about it so they don't really know what to say. (there is enough children without parent and home anyway, just to reach and help one or two.). I have plans to settle my own family but those plans do not involve woman. I miss nobody and dating is bunch of trouble if you are average or maybe under average looking person (according to who). I do have flaws, lots of them - lazy, comfortable, maybe greedy, uninterested in common joys of life (culture, sightseeing, spending social time whatever).Īnd also: I don't see any reason to even try to date again.
What is good, because feelings never affect my decision making! I feel very reasonable. Yes, it is nice to teach him English, math etc., to spent time with him and shape his fersonality but for instance, if I never ever saw him again I don't give a damn. I hoped children will help to find human being inside me but it takes no effect also. I moved to India and barely think of them in other respect that some business matter or technical help or so. I like my friends and I enjoy their company but I don't miss them. I remember to have warm satisfying feeling inside when I am with someone I like. She was smart, nice and everything but I didn't really like her and her presence sorta pestered me. Few months ago I sorta e-dated one girls from arabia. sex is good and I could definetely use that, but besides. Yes, I feel lonely when I am alone for entire day or so but besides that. So, at least for 2 years I have no deeper feelings to anybody. I would like to hear your feedback, what you think - maybe I am faulty, maybe it's normal, maybe I should leave it be or maybe I should do smt about it. Today my mood is bloody accursed so I feel for making little confession.
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